The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
Monday, October 6, 2008
Reading Paulo Coelho and Hot Library Smut
Though I am constantly buying both new and used books, I am not a constant reader. It's like I forget I can read in getting so caught up in acquiring books. They make me happy just by being here, just by being published. Bookstores are quiet sanctuaries to me -- places of peace.
I just finished Tuesday Erotica Club which sounds like erotic literature but isn't. The book discusses sex a bit but the story is really about 4 different women in a writing club and their lives. Now I'm on to By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho.
I remember the first time I saw Beauty and the Beast (the animated film). The library in the Beast's mansion was heaven. I could never imagine having that many books to read. And so I identified best with Belle than any other Disney "Princess" because we both had long brown hair, and liked to sing, and LOVED books. And, like her, I always found myself very misunderstood by the general public.
My dream library in the mansion I will never have includes a library almost identical to the one in Beauty and the Beast -- all hardback or leatherbound books. Books on top of books from floor to ceiling with those ceiling-high climbing ladders attached to the bookshelves for easy access.
I thought I may never see anything like that library but it seems that even Disney gets its inspiration from somewhere.
http://thenonist.com/index.php/thenonist/permalink/hot_library_smut/
The above is HAUGHT. Some of the prettiest libraries in the world. I thought I had enough reasons to want to travel the world -- turns out I only perpetually add to the stack. I must go to these libraries.
I realized randomly tonight why I don't like being around drunk people. Losing control is such a giant fear of mine and the idea of being drunk has never appealed to me. It's like not being able to be myself. And when other people are drunk, it's like I can't see them anymore. I just have to wait until they come back. You'd think that something awful had happened to me involving alcohol but nothing ever has. Maybe one too many after school specials about the issues involving drinking got to me as a kid as there was no alcohol in my parents' house.
That being said, I don't have a problem when people drink. But it makes me afraid.
I just finished Tuesday Erotica Club which sounds like erotic literature but isn't. The book discusses sex a bit but the story is really about 4 different women in a writing club and their lives. Now I'm on to By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho.
I remember the first time I saw Beauty and the Beast (the animated film). The library in the Beast's mansion was heaven. I could never imagine having that many books to read. And so I identified best with Belle than any other Disney "Princess" because we both had long brown hair, and liked to sing, and LOVED books. And, like her, I always found myself very misunderstood by the general public.
My dream library in the mansion I will never have includes a library almost identical to the one in Beauty and the Beast -- all hardback or leatherbound books. Books on top of books from floor to ceiling with those ceiling-high climbing ladders attached to the bookshelves for easy access.
I thought I may never see anything like that library but it seems that even Disney gets its inspiration from somewhere.
http://thenonist.com/index.php/thenonist/permalink/hot_library_smut/
The above is HAUGHT. Some of the prettiest libraries in the world. I thought I had enough reasons to want to travel the world -- turns out I only perpetually add to the stack. I must go to these libraries.
I realized randomly tonight why I don't like being around drunk people. Losing control is such a giant fear of mine and the idea of being drunk has never appealed to me. It's like not being able to be myself. And when other people are drunk, it's like I can't see them anymore. I just have to wait until they come back. You'd think that something awful had happened to me involving alcohol but nothing ever has. Maybe one too many after school specials about the issues involving drinking got to me as a kid as there was no alcohol in my parents' house.
That being said, I don't have a problem when people drink. But it makes me afraid.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
A Bird
Kim, the receptionist, called me from her desk today after lunch. "There's a bird that flew into the window!"
She called me up to the front to take a look and see if I could help it, first asking me if I was afraid of birds. I don't normally consider myself an expert on birds, but I went to the front to see what I could do.
The bird was lying on the ground on its side and breathing heavily. When I approached it, it didn't seem to notice my presence. Even though Sam was on the other side of the door telling me not to touch it, I lightly stroked its head. It made no sign that it knew of my presence. I stood outside with it for a while staring at it, praying.
Sam was joking that I was just staring at a bird but I didn't want to leave it. Kim and I monitored the bird's progress for a while. Eventually, without warning, it rolled onto its feet and sat straight up, eyes closed. It stayed that way for two hours, occasionally opening and closing its beak or slightly moving its wings.
Just as Kim called me to tell me my boss was fine with me taking it to a wildlife sanctuary in a TG box, Joel was outside moving it into the bushes by sliding a newspaper under it. Complete with glove, Joel moved the bird. As he did the moment was priceless. The bird opened its eyes for the first time that we had noticed and turned its head to watch Joel as he moved him. He fluttered his wings a bit and flew/fell slowly into the bushes. Joel was met by a round of applause/happy noises from the haphazard group of employees assembled at the front of the building to watch.
Joel is the hero of the day.
She called me up to the front to take a look and see if I could help it, first asking me if I was afraid of birds. I don't normally consider myself an expert on birds, but I went to the front to see what I could do.
The bird was lying on the ground on its side and breathing heavily. When I approached it, it didn't seem to notice my presence. Even though Sam was on the other side of the door telling me not to touch it, I lightly stroked its head. It made no sign that it knew of my presence. I stood outside with it for a while staring at it, praying.
Sam was joking that I was just staring at a bird but I didn't want to leave it. Kim and I monitored the bird's progress for a while. Eventually, without warning, it rolled onto its feet and sat straight up, eyes closed. It stayed that way for two hours, occasionally opening and closing its beak or slightly moving its wings.
Just as Kim called me to tell me my boss was fine with me taking it to a wildlife sanctuary in a TG box, Joel was outside moving it into the bushes by sliding a newspaper under it. Complete with glove, Joel moved the bird. As he did the moment was priceless. The bird opened its eyes for the first time that we had noticed and turned its head to watch Joel as he moved him. He fluttered his wings a bit and flew/fell slowly into the bushes. Joel was met by a round of applause/happy noises from the haphazard group of employees assembled at the front of the building to watch.
Joel is the hero of the day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
