Monday, June 22, 2009

Stubbornly Awake

There are times when I don't want to go to sleep. Sleep lies on my body heavy but I resist. And then, when it is time to wake up, all I want to do is sleep. Small child that I am, I'm enjoying this time to myself, just surfing the Internet, unpacking, and watching random episodes of The West Wing. Why is that I don't want to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing? I love sleeping -- why can't I just let go of today and move on to the next? What do I think I'm gaining by depriving myself of sleep? I'm stealing time from tomorrow by being awake right now. All too soon I'll have to pay the debt.

I was going to say that I'm just working off Eastern Standard Time still except that would be some fairly flawed logic, seeing as how it's 2:21 AM EST right now as opposed to Central Standard's 1:21 AM. Either way, it doesn't really matter. Either way, it's still Monday and I haven't let go of Sunday.

Perhaps there's something missing in my life, some activity or task I have left unfinished. This is some sort of subconscious drive to stay awake because I have sense of unfinished business in some area or another. What can I accomplish at 1:20 in the morning? But here I am, stubbornly awake.

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