Telemarketer Apology

To all the telemarketers out there, I apologize. Your jobs must be terrible. And while you make better than minimum wage, it's pretty much a thankless job where people yell at you and hang up on you. But it was really quite funny when you just called into our litigation consulting firm and wanted to speak to one of our trial consultants about buying land. Really, this isn't his house, it's his place of business. And I'm sure the tract of land you have in Florida on the beach or in the mountains of Montana is just beautiful, really, but he's trying to help people in court at the moment. We all sit in a large room together and can hear people on the phone. One of our Workflow Coordinators picked up the phone and we were all subconsciously/unavoidably listening in on your conversation and the WFC's uncertain replies to a call that perhaps never should have been made about buying tracts of land. We all shared a collective laugh and agreed that the TC in question probably didn't want to talk to you anyway. But, being the nice person that he is, the WFC tried to put you through despite his puzzlement that you decided to call at all.

So I'm sorry -- we were all laughing at you and your futility this morning. I wouldn't take it personally -- sometimes that's just the way it goes.

Some of my friends, including Jordan and Glenda, have fantasized with me about a business we could go in on together (though Jordan and Glenda were separate conversations), sort of a bookstore/coffeeshop/bakery type of place. It sounds divine, the idea of a cozy, funky, unique, inviting place, balancing somewhere between a pseudo library, Italian coffee shop, a french- or american-style bakery with homemade pastries and breads. I think we all dream of our favorite book stores, coffee shops, and European bakery/pastry shops all rolled into one comforting place that would be ideal to work in.

I can recognize that it would be so perfect as I imagine. Owning our business would be a tremendous of work that revolved around all the mundane tasks that create and maintain such a place, not so much related to enjoying it. Although I can imagine a great sense of satisfaction that would come perhaps once a day when there is a small lull and opportunity to see others enjoying such a place. Who would want to create such a space and enjoy it with your friends? I can imagine us all working together and talking. Making friends with regulars, making everything perfect, debating about silly things. Doing work that somehow isn't work -- isn't that what we're all after?

Best wedding entrance EVER

Best wedding entrance EVER

I'd like to thank Jordan for pointing me towards this particular YouTube video. There are a lot of great wedding ideas out there but this has to be one of my favorites. I'm just jealous that someone else thought of it first! What a way to celebrate your special day -- AND including your entire wedding party of friends and family. Plus, ushers were included (for people like Philip, Jordan, Phil, Erich who may not be able to be part of my wedding party, I think this is just the ticket. Plus, Phil can do the fish dance with Philip)

Although Erich may just find himself standing up on my side of the aisle, it's only fair after I was a groomswoman for him:

I have to wonder when I became such an awkward person.

Some people who've known me for years say I'm not and never have been. Others say I always have. Some people look at me a little puzzled when I mention it, as if it's not a big deal or terribly noticeable. A good example was going to a goodbye party at a bar Friday night with coworkers. I was doing fine enough -- but because I feel awkward about not drinking and because I know that if I'm not drinking while everyone else does that people will ask me why I'm not drinking, I for some reason feel the need to blurt it out and sort of explain why. I make a bid deal about the thing that I would like not to not be made a big deal of. I'm my own worst enemy.

I just don't drink. And it really doesn't matter why, I don't have a problem with the fact that other people drink. My problem is that I feel out of place in a world where everyone else does and yet I can't bring myself to do it simply to fit in.

In new situations, it seems, I go one of two ways. I'm either markedly outgoing or introverted and shy. Chicago, it seems, has brought out introverted and shy. But how do I forget to be self-conscious? How do I know think about what I'm thinking about? Even thinking about not thinking about it is thinking about it....

Big Lots Sells West Wing?

Last week I drove several miles out of my way (which turned into 45 minutes of sitting in traffic) to get to Big Lots to look for cheap things for my apartment before heading over to Target. I bought laundry detergent, mover men (sliding things not actual people), and a clothing rack. I need a clothing rack because there is simply not enough closet space for my clothes (this is more a testament to the smallness of my closet space rather than the extensiveness of my wardrobe). But when I drove the extra 30 minutes in more traffic out of my way home, the clothing rack was missing one of the rods and thus worthless to me. I drove back over there a few days ago and returned it but didn't buy another. Went to Target, bought one there; it's flimsy and sways.

So, back to Big Lots I went yesterday after work. I had a little more time to peruse the selections and wander around and wander I did. In a corner, hiding with all of the soap and shampoos and home pedicure products were DVDs. Some slim pickings to be sure until I stumbled upon something magical: the second season of The West Wing. I gasped in delight -- I'm not ashamed to admit it. Because I own the first five seasons on DVD but I am missing the first disk of the second season. I have been unwilling to spend $30-$45 to replace the entire set and have been desperately missing In The Shadow of Two Gunmen, Shiboleth, It's Surely to Their Credit, and more. These are perhaps my favorite of all favorite episodes from the entire series' run and they have been lost to me. But no more. For SIX DOLLARS I bought the entire second season again. I had to resist the urge to buy 5 of them and see what I could get on eBay. For when I have tried to buy them through such web sites, the cheapest I could get them used was $15-$20. Ahh, life is magical. Good thing I listened to that small voice in the back of my head that said go explore that corner that looks like it has nothing in it.

And the clothing rack even had all the parts this time. No matter that two of the screws didn't fit into the holes they were designed for. It seems to stand fine on its own without them. Stay tuned to see if in a few months you hear about a tragic accident and my demise due to a badly put together coat rack....

Golden Train

Isn't it always the best songs that aren't nearly long enough? You never want them to end -- they're magical wherever they're playing from and they completely transform your day or your life or everything just in the few moments that they play. Few songs are magical like that but I wish they would release an album of truly magical songs that span any time or genre. Not only classics but perhaps songs people have never heard of but should.

I can't get "Golden Train" by Justin Nozuka out of my head. It follows me wherever I go. I'm singing it at work, in the car, late at night. I wake up with it still in my head. It just makes me happy. I'm listening to it through my earbuds on my iPod at work. I wish I could blast it through the speakers at work and get up and dance and be happy. I want to sing along. Every time it comes on my iPod, there's a veritable movie scene playing in my head of me jumping up and dancing and singing to this song -- a pure example of happiness. I think everyone should know this song, love this song, hear it and know it after just a few notes, like all those other classic songs that aren't nearly as well.

One of my favorite Guster songs, The Captain, only has two parts two it and then it's over, instead of a few verses and then repeating the chorus several times. This Justin Nozuka song is much the same way -- simply not long enough. Man, I haven't heard that song in a while. I need to unearth it from wherever it lies buried in my music collection.

Also can't stop listening to "You Got Growing Up To Do" by Patty Griffin and Joshua Radin. Other honorable mentionables:

On the Radio - Regina Spektor
Samson - Regina Spektor
Everything Went Down - Kate Tucker and the Sons of Sweden
I'll Be Your Water - Keb' Mo'
Sanvean (I am your shadow)- Lisa Gerrard
Like Blood Like Honey - Holly Brook
Back to Where I Was - Eric Hutchinson
My Song - Brandi Carlile
What Can I Say - Brandi Carlile
Paperweight - Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk

The Next Best Thing

I stayed late a little at work tonight and was driving home famished. It occurred to me that just at this moment in my previous life I would have gone to Chick-fil-a and gotten a number one combo with Chick-fil-a sauce or a chicken strip salad. It's amazing how much better your day can get when you end it by eating a Chick-fil-a chicken strip salad. But alas, neither option was available to me. I took an alternate route home and what did I pass? Perhaps the next best thing: Kentucky Fried Chicken. I am now overly full but in the best possible way.

There were so many things that I wanted to get done tonight that sadly will no longer be done. My big accomplishment for the evening was finding a parking space within 5 minutes of looking for one on a street one block over and down the way. Now laundry and perhaps a little bit of cleaning while Kate and Leopold plays in the background.

Slowly Discovering

I haven't done much today. I seem to be stuck on the computer and watching the 2nd season of Greys Anatomy. Thursday night Steve from work pointed out the restaurants a block or two away from work and we got Mexican after I hung out at work until he closed the office (surely a sign that I am new in town that I wasn't running out the door on a "Friday"). Yesterday afternoon Carolina came to pick me up and we went to go see The Proposal and together we discovered the movie theater several miles away -- it's silly that you have to pay $5 to park for a movie.

Tomorrow I'm discovering a new church and going to a hardware store down the road. I think there's also a Burger King somewhere down the road that I intend to find. I also found a few local groups to get involved with and a few no-cage, no-kill cat shelters that are also within a few miles. This helps me in two ways, both an organization to volunteer with and perhaps the place I will find my future cat.

I might be taking swing dance lessons for the next month but there may be a scheduling problem there. I've spent too much time sitting around -- I need to find the battery charger for my digital rebel. I need to get a bus pass, take my camera, and take pictures of my newfound city. I also joined a book club.

What to Do With Time You Weren't Expecting to Have

This Saturday is the 4th of July. I had a general idea that June was ending and July was beginning, but it didn't really register until today that the holiday was also quickly approaching. I have Friday off, since the 4th of July falls on Saturday. This is a gift but what to do with my time?

I can unpack. I can finish moving in and getting settled. I can hang out by the lake, though I figure it will be so busy and crowded that it would be the type of environment that I'm likely to avoid. There's something about large crowds sometimes when I'm alone -- the're oppressive and exhausting. There's too much to listen to, to pay attention to, to be aware of. Almost like losing my place in the world and being an unwilling part of a collective, jostling to simply be as I want.

I'm not really sure what to do with the time, though I should perhaps be tackling this as a positive rather than a problem to solve. No matter what I do, I'll have the time. If I want to sit around and do nothing, I don't fail at life and lose the time.